


you're the reason i wake up

by taesxbandanas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Boys Kissing, But only a little, Confessions, Crush at First Sight, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Park Jisung (NCT)-centric, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Young Love, and jisung just wants to tell him he's his star, but it's okay now bc he has his new family, chenle and jisung are seniors, chenle had a rough childhood, chenle makes jisung blush but then the tables turn ooh, chenle talks about the stars, chensung - Freeform, hyuck and taeyong are brothers, hyuck is a senior, jeno and jaemin are college freshmen, kind of?, markhyuck, not really - Freeform, rated teen bc they kiss and the occasional swear word, shy chensung, there's dancing and apple cider involved what more could you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 17:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18124367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taesxbandanas/pseuds/taesxbandanas
Summary: jisung shakes his head. “when you meet someone who shakes your entire world upside down, you need to act on it.” his voice grows tranquil, “and when you meet someone who embodies the entire universe in the depth of their smile, you best believe you make them yours.”sleepy jisung wants nothing more than to get an apple cider and go to bed after his long dance rehearsal, but it seems like the rain has other plans. not that he minds, though, because he gets much more than a to-go cup of cider from the little dance shop: an angelic smile, messy blond hair, and a striped apron with a name tag reading "chenle."





	you're the reason i wake up

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! this fic was born after i spent way too much time watching chensung videos. they're so cute and so unbothered by everything going on and i love it so much
> 
> small trigger warning but chenle talks about coming out and he had a rough childhood (i just want to hug him)
> 
> other than that, happy reading! let me know what you think!

jisung feels so _sleepy_.

the kind of sleepy he knows he won’t be able to shake unless he drinks hot cider and crashes into his bed for several long hours, which is just time he doesn’t have.

the tiredness seems to mock him in the way his joints protest as he saunters slowly down the sidewalk on campus, how his muscles ache fruitlessly with each step he takes as if to convince him to take a break. he just feels _heavy_ despite his lean dancer frame, and he curses himself for staying up all night to finish his songwriting assignment. blowing his beach-blond bangs out of his eyes in exasperation, he can’t fight the sigh that escapes his lips. _senior year is so hard and its only three months old_.

longing to get back to his shared apartment faster so he can sleep, jisung pushes more momentum into his steps just as it begins to rain. “no, not right now!” he yelps frantically, taking off into a run toward the nearest building, which just so happens to be the dance studio where he had just finished practicing his showcase routine for three hours. _god, i’m so tired._

he manages to get the door open after the handle slides out of his hands a few times due to the raindrops on his palms, leaning up against the other side of the glass in relief as it shuts quietly behind him. his long-sleeved black shirt sticks to his torso uncomfortably, and his breathing is ragged, but at least he’s safe from outside.

jisung makes his way to the small store he knows is just down the hall on the way to the practice rooms. it’s a little shop stocked with food, drinks, pain meds, and just about anything else a dancer would need at any time of day, and right now it’s jisung’s small heaven. 

he decides he’s going to sleep on the probably broken futon in the corner of his practice room, knowing nobody will come and bother him at this time of night to make him go back to the apartment anyway, so an apple cider can’t hurt.

selecting a small bag of chips from near the register, he doesn’t seem to notice the boy staring so captivated at him until he glances up to order from the menu. both boys stutter at the same time, and jisung can feel his cheeks heating up. _dammit_. “oh, uh, hi—”

“hey, i—”

they both laugh as they shyly avert their eyes, the boy behind the counter reaching up to rub his neck in embarrassment. he’s grinning nervously, and there’s a pretty pink blush dancing on the apples of his cheeks that clashes so vibrantly with his teal sweater. jisung thinks it’s cute how he has to tilt his gaze up a bit to meet his own, and he wonders how soft the fabric is. “you go first,” he encourages him, eyes darting down to read the small gold name tag on his striped apron, “chenle.”

the boy, chenle, bites his bottom lip in an effort to stop his grin, but it’s in vain as the smile overtakes his face and he just _glows_. “oh, well, i was going to say that it’s pretty late for someone like you to be out, and then hope that my smile was charming enough to make you want to order something?” he shapes the end of his sentence like a question and it’s so adorable jisung thinks he could pass out.

“oh i see how it is, only wanting me around to pay you,” jisung teases, relishing in the way numerous apologies fall out of chenle’s mouth. “i’m just kidding. but,” he leans forward so his elbows rest on the counter and his face is up toward chenle’s, “i do want to know what you mean by ‘someone like me.’”

chenle’s brown eyes widen dramatically as his face stains an even darker shade of pink. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

jisung playfully rolls his eyes. “okay, lele, will you tell me if i order a hot cider?”

chenle inhales sharply at the nickname, and he shuts his eyes as if to calm himself. “m-maybe.” he busies himself in creating the drink, and jisung watches him add an extra pinch of cinnamon to it. “so why are you out so late?”

as he leans against the counter, moving down by the machine so he can be closer to chenle, jisung lets out a sigh. “classes this week have been killing me. i had so much homework, and i stayed up late to finish writing stanzas for mark lee’s songwriting class, and _then_ i stayed here late practicing my routine for the dance showcase my friend taeyong is hosting and i’m just so _tired—_ ”

“hey,” chenle gently interrupts, sliding the hot apple cinnamon cider in front of him, “slow down, okay? i’m not going anywhere. it’s alright to feel busy and stressed. just make sure you take care of yourself.” he eyes my soaking clothes. “speaking of, just wait here a second.” 

jisung doesn’t have a choice, because before he can voice his thoughts, chenle has already disappeared through the doors behind the counter, probably leading to a break room or something. he takes the few seconds alone to shake his head slightly, feeling a grin form on his face. his cheeks feel warm again, so he places his hands on the skin, hoping to help cool them down, but they are hot from holding the cider, which just makes him blush harder. _how did this even happen?_ he wonders to himself. _how is it that a stranger can take my breath away but also make me feel so calm, so_ awake _?_

chenle chooses that particular moment to burst back into the shop, his hair and circle wire-rimmed glasses slightly askew as if he were running. “here, take this,” he says, shoving a warm, messily folded sweatshirt into jisung’s arms. in awe, he unfolds it and sees a small tiger on the front, just over where the wearer’s heart would be. 

jisung’s irises flicker up to meet chenle’s, part in confusion and part in amazement, taking in how chenle plays with the bow on the front of his apron anxiously. “you — you look really cold, and it’s pouring outside so you’re probably staying here, and this is warm, because i had it laying on the heater so—”

“thank you,” jisung murmurs, feeling his heart shake in his chest at the gesture. none of his friends have ever done anything like this for him, much less a stranger. 

“of course!” chenle replies without hesitation, a smile lighting up his features like sunshine itself. “it’s my favorite, though, so take care of it.”

jisung feels there’s something underlying in his words, like _take care of my favorite sweatshirt but also take care of yourself because you’re my new favorite customer_. he holds the gray fabric close to chest. “i will, you idiot.”

chenle scoffs at this, wagging his finger at the younger. “hey, none of that, or i can take it back?”

“no!” jisung exclaims, a little loudly for this time of night. chenle raises an eyebrow, a smirk adorning his features as he goes from being shy to flirty in a span of seconds. “i-i mean—”

“don’t apologize,” chenle cuts him off again. “it was cute. see, you’re blushing.”

jisung wants the floor underneath him to swallow him whole, even though he knows chenle is right. “you’re blushing too, i’m not special,” he shoots back. 

chenle giggles, and jisung swears the blond boy behind the counter is an angel. “ah, see, if i didn’t think you were special, i wouldn’t have given you my hoodie.”

“are you trying to one-up me? because if so, you’re on, angel,” jisung says, his lips quirking into a challenging grin. he doesn’t realize his slip-up of the nickname until he notices chenle’s gone quiet, his amber eyes wide. “oh shit, wait—”

“nope, you can’t take that back now!” chenle laughs, and jisung welcomes the way the sound resonates in his ears. “don’t worry, i like it. now you just have to tell me your name so i can give you some cute nicknames, too.”

although chenle sounds confident, the cotton candy blush on his cheeks gives himself away. jisung decides he loves that he’s the cause of it. “hm, i don’t think so,” he says, paying and tipping chenle for his drink. “i kind of like that you’re in the dark about me.”

“wait, that’s not fair!” chenle sputters, completely ignoring the money on the counter as he glares at jisung, who can’t stop chuckling. “you have to tell me!”

jisung has one foot out the door, chenle’s sweatshirt draped over one arm and cider clutched in his other hand. “do i though?” he replies, smirking when chenle lets out an ‘are you _kidding_ me!’ 

“you know what? fine,” chenle calls from over by the register, finally putting away the money jisung gave him and turning to face jisung with crossed arms and an adorable pout. “it’s almost december, which means some of my favorite constellations are out, so i’ll call you mochi, short for monoceros, because you’re such a special stranger that you have my favorite hoodie and constellation. are you happy now?”

jisung wants to say that chenle stole his heart when he smiled at him for the first time before he could order his cider, but the words get stuck in his throat, the shape of them holding too much meaning, too much sincerity. they won’t slip out of his mouth because suddenly he feels scared, so unbelievably _frightened_ that he let himself flirt with a stranger that could potentially break his heart. he likes chenle, he knows he does, which is his only comforting thought. it helps him finally mumble a quiet “yes” in return, the small blond boy with the wire-rimmed glasses and striped apron smiling contagiously as he does so. he doesn’t have to say anything else, because it’s like chenle _knows;_ he understands the scary yet exhilarating feeling because he feels it, too. 

jisung thinks this is the reason why an hour later, curled up on the lumpy blue futon in his practice room, he cannot seem to fall asleep. he can’t get chenle’s smile out of his head, and he doesn’t want to. it doesn’t help that he’s wearing chenle’s hoodie, having taken off his soaked shirt, so the smell of cinnamon and chocolate is pressed right against his chest and into his nose and he feels so goddamn _awake_. 

 

he doesn’t think he should blame it on the warm sugar thrumming in his veins, because he’s convinced that chenle is somehow sweeter than all of the cider in the world.

 

★ ☆ 

 

jisung wakes up the next morning early, less tired than he was the day before, feeling more excited than normal to see chenle again. he practically jumps out of his blankets like a loaded spring, pausing only for a few second to stretch his slightly achy dancer muscles in advanced preparation for his afternoon practice. he grabs the bag next to the futon and digs around for his comb, hurriedly styling his blond hair into something presentable before applying a small dash of blush to his cheeks from the travel-size palette he always keeps in his backpack, using the divided mirror in his practice room to see himself properly. he never usually pays mind to doing it, but he didn’t see the hurt in taking his time applying it just right if he is going to the store.

if he is going to see chenle.

he can’t seem to wipe the grin off his face as he runs out of his practice room, making sure to lock it behind him as he all but sprints into the store. 

except, it’s not chenle who greets him this time.

“hiya, what can i get you this morning?” the boy’s cheerful voice matches his equally enthusiastic eye-smile, something jisung admittedly would not be able to do. he dislikes mornings. “a coffee? a lemon muffin? they’re fresh!”

jisung glances down at his name tag, where “JENO” glitters in orange sharpie. “uh, no thanks, jeno, but do you, um, know who worked here last night?” _gosh, stop stuttering so much._

jeno smirks at the younger knowingly. “yeah, a certain zhong chenle would not stop talking my ear off about a mysterious, adorable stranger who, and i quote, “stole my favorite damn hoodie _and_ constellation and all he did was act cute! jeno, did i save a king in my past life?! he was so cute i could cry!’” jeno’s imitation of chenle is too high-pitched, sounding more like he inhaled helium than anything, but it’s special to jisung all the same.

jisung giggles, feeling his cheeks warm at the thought of someone so perfect calling him cute. “did he — did he really say that?”

jeno’s eyes soften as his smile twists into a reassuring grin. “don’t worry, dude, he was staring at the wall talking about you all night until he fell asleep like you hung his favorite stars in the sky. and i was confused because he doesn’t even know your name!”

“well that’s how i felt, too,” jisung says quietly, fingers playing with his backpack straps absentmindedly. “if i had the time, i would have loved to sit at one of these tables and talked with him for hours about literally anything.”

jeno’s face lights up in his big eye-smile again, although this time, there’s a hint of  underlying seriousness. “gosh, high school love at first sight is so precious. but if you break his heart, i break your neck, okay?”

jisung gulps audibly at the word _love_. “don’t worry, i don’t plan on breaking him. he’d have to break me first.”

jeno is putting a couple chocolate chip vanilla scones and ibuprofen into a paper sleeve as jisung answers, handing the bag to him when he’s done. “he won’t break you. he’s been through a lot, and he would never want anyone to feel that way. my friend jaemin and i took him in when he got kicked out of his house, and he’s basically our little brother now. i’m just protective of him.” jeno gestures to the bag. “on the house, yeah?”

jisung stares from the bag to jeno, eyes widening. “you didn’t have to do that!”

jeno nods, closing the display cases of food. “i did. thank you for making chenle so genuinely happy for the first time in awhile.”

“what do you mean by all that, though?”

“well,” jeno replies, the ghost of a smile on his features, “if you’re as special to him as he says you are, he’ll tell you. just be patient, okay?”

jisung gives a tiny nod, not bothering to contain his grin. “okay, jeno.” 

as he turns to leave, although he’s confused, he feels comforted by the warmth from the scones and jeno’s words. “chenle always works the night shifts,” jeno calls after him before the door can close. “and i never caught your name!”

jisung smirks knowingly over his shoulder as he props the jingling door open with his worn-out purple chucks, the situation feeling all too familiar. “that’s because i didn’t throw it,” he says cheekily, laughing as jeno huffs. 

he feels light on his feet all the way back to his first class of the day — songwriting with Mr. Lee — as thoughts of cider and blond boys with glasses flow through his mind. he didn’t want to wait until tonight to see him, but he supposes he should be thanking the universe he even met him at all. 

he is interrupted from staring at the sky wondering if chenle is doing the same when his phone buzzes repeatedly in his pocket. jisung sighs, fully knowing its probably hyuck, who can’t seem to stop being nosy for .3 seconds.

 

 

**responsible(?) hyungs**

**sunsunsun**

JISUNG EYE SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

U BETTER B ALIVE

 

**taebaeyong**

what the hell are you talking about

**mochibear**

uh i’m right here thx

**elevenminus1**

goddammit donghyuck you had ONE job

and you almost failed

**mochibear**

what job r we talking about

because we all know he’ll get fired

from starbucks in like 3 days

**sunsunsun**

wat do u mean

i jus got the job last night

**mochibear**

exactly

**sunsunsun**

sheesh some best friend u r

 

**taebaeyong**

i’m still confused

 

**elevenminus1**

it’s okay tae

i just told hyuck that he needed

to make sure jisung got home at a decent hour

and that he wouldn’t spend all night practicing

because we were going out

but apparently 

HE DIDN’T COME BACK AT ALL

 

**taebaeyong**

oh

oh shit

DONGHYUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

 

**sunsunsun**

i’m sorry ok?

i forgot

**mochibear**

i just slept in the studio

i was too tired

but it was worth it

**sunsunsun**

exCUSE me

is that tea i hear being spilled

u better tell me rn or i’m suing

 

**elevenminus1**

we take you guys in to help you

so you can be more independent for university

and this is how you repay us

**mochibear**

i’ll tell you

when you finally own up 

to having a crush on 

MARK FUCKING LEE

**elevenminus1**

with petty teenage drama

 

**sunsunsun**

i really wish u would stop exposing me

**mochibear**

HE’S OUR TEACHER

**sunsunsun**

he’s only a year older!!1!11!

he goes to sm u

**mochibear**

IT’S ILLEGAL YOU IDIOT

**taebaeyong**

ten won’t stop looking to the side like he’s in the office

i’m uncomfortable

**mochibear**

just to make this better

he has blond hair

and wire glasses

he knows constellations

he gave me his sweatshirt

he smiles like an angel

**sunsunsun**

r u talking about zhong chenle ?

**mochibear**

..

**sunsunsun**

wait for real????

he’s adorable

**mochibear**

uh i just remembered i have class

lmao cya

**sunsunsun**

JISUNG U IDIOT 

I HAVE SONGWRITING WITH U

DON’T U DARE LEAVE ME ON SEEN

GRRRR

 

**taebaeyong**

should we be worried

 

**elevenminus1**

if we worried every time something

like this happened

i’d have gray hair

 

**taebaeyong**

you’re right

i’ll ask him in dance practice this afternoon

we’re learning lemon

 

**elevenminus1**

how bout you come back to our room and teach me?

 

**taebaeyong**

but i made coffee

 

**elevenminus1**

okay so we’re dancing in the kitchen

omw

**mochibear**

cute

**taebaeyong**

no texting in class!

 

“how do you even know chenle?” jisung speaks in a hushed whisper so they don’t draw attention to themselves. they’re supposed to be brainstorming lyrics for their next assignment, but since ‘night’ is the theme mark chose for them, he finds himself unable to think of anything worth writing.

“he’s in my astronomy class,” hyuck replies mindlessly, doodling hearts on the margins of his paper. “he knows everything before mr. jung can even teach it, and he loves talking about constellations with him before class starts.”

jisung smiles unconsciously, humming in agreement. “yeah, that sounds like him.”

“you’re blushing!”

“am not.”

“are too!”

“am NOT!”

“ARE TOO!”

“AM—”

 

“donghyuck, jisung, is there something you would like to share with the class?”

the pair look up and meet the annoyed glare of the one and only mark lee, a freshman university student at SM U across the city. he gets paid to teach songwriting in high school as part of his introductory program, and everyone says he’s really a sweetheart, but his current glowering eyes seem to suggest otherwise. “no, we’re good,” hyuck responds for both of them, and jisung inwardly groans, knowing it was probably too smart-assy to pass off as innocent.

“hyuck, you can stay after class. jisung, just make sure to write something, okay?”

“why does he hate me?” hyuck grumbles from his chair, burying his head in his arms on the desk. jisung chuckles as mark rolls his eyes, but there’s a faint trace of a smile tugging at the teacher’s lips, and hyuck’s cheeks aren’t exactly pale, either.

he returns his gaze to the lines on his empty paper, pencil flickering in his fidgeting hand. the only thing he knows about nighttime is how sleepy he always gets. but then there’s chenle: how the frames of his glasses would sparkle in the artificial light radiating from the red hanging lamps in the store; how the darkness outside would cast striped shadows across his cheekbones where the rays couldn’t reach, matching the pattern on his apron as he dusts his hands free of sugary dough, eyes dancing as he mentions constellations and pours cider with extra cinnamon for jisung; how his smile—

oh.

jisung shakes his head at himself and starts writing, the words flowing naturally onto the paper as if it was expecting them, the lines holding hands to accentuate the melody. mark walks by and reads over his shoulder, nodding his head in encouragement. “they sound like a keeper, “ he says softly so only jisung can hear. 

he smiles up at him in response and continues to write.

 

★ ☆

 

jisung enters his studio room with a bounce in his step. he actually feels good about his songwriting assignment and he knows taeyong is teaching a new song today to help them let loose before their showcase, which makes him more excited than anything. dance has always been his first passion, a power he could wield to express himself, and when he and hyuck moved in with hyuck’s older brother taeyong and his boyfriend, ten, it was easier than he thought to convince the latter to start a dance club at their high school. ten dances too, but he focuses on photography first, leaving taeyong to do most of the teaching. 

jisung doesn’t mind, though, they’re both great hyungs.

“okay you guys,” taeyong announces, accentuating his calm voice with an enthusiastic hand clap that bounces off the walls of the studio, “i’ve split you up into different groups. one will go into the studio on the other side of the mirror closest to the door so i can still see you, and you’ll learn the choreography from my friend jung hoseok. everyone else will stay here and learn it from me. there’s more people this time so i thought it would be easier. questions?” he waits for a few seconds, and when it remains silent, he gestures the group of girls hovering by the water wall into the adjacent studio.

taeyong has told jisung about this mirror before, when he first gave him full access to it to call his own except for when taeyong held dance club meetings. in the main studio, where taeyong’s group (including jisung) warms up, the wall-to-wall mirror has a wooden bar down the middle, splitting in half. the left side is an actual mirror, and the right side is a one way mirror where people can see through to the studio behind it, but people on the other side can’t see through it. (“but when you go in that studio, its the same just reversed,” taeyong had told him excitedly. “they can see through on their right side and we can’t. it’s really helpful when teaching because i can supervise more than one group or song at once. it’s awkward when you catch someone staring, though,” he had added cheekily. jisung was scared to ask what he meant by that, so he didn’t.)

basically, jisung thinks it’s one of the coolest mirrors he’s ever seen.

“hey, jisung-ah, come over here! you need to pay attention!” taeyong scolds him, even though the rest of the club members know jisung is far from inexperienced and probably can pay the least attention out of all of them. 

“right, right, sorry,” he mutters under his breath, adjusting his black cap and gray sweatshirt — _chenle’s_ sweatshirt — as he slips into an empty space toward the middle of the group.

taeyong presses play on the stereo and performs the choreography of the dance he’s teaching. it’s to lemon by n.e.r.d., which causes waves of pure excitement to cascade through jisung. he’s been trying to find time to choreograph a routine for this song for days now, but the moves taeyong shows are better than the ones he would have come up with in his sleep-deprived state.

they repeat sections repeatedly just to make sure they all get it right, taeyong showing extra patience with the transition into rihanna’s verse because there is a difficult spin. jisung executed it perfectly after a couple tries, so he lets his focus stray to the other group, where hoseok is cheering as they rehearse the same part taeyong is teaching. jisung would have smiled longer as he watches the interaction, but a certain mop of blond hair atop a boy slightly shorter than him catches his eye, and suddenly the waves of excitement increase a hundred times in strength because _chenle is in the dance studio watching me but he doesn’t know i can also see him and oh my god why am i so nervous he’s just a_ boy—

apparently taeyong had called a break, because when he hastily realigns his gaze to where taeyong was ten seconds ago, he’s actually standing right next to jisung instead. the younger yelps out of fright and shoves the tall boy, who laughs hysterically for a long time, even as he falls to the ground. “i take it that’s zhong chenle?”

“shut up, hyung,” jisung whisper-hisses, frantically eyeing the wide-open door leading into the adjacent practice room. it doesn’t matter if taeyong is his best friend’s brother; if chenle heard him, jisung will not hesitate to kick his ass to timbuktu. or somewhere cold, like greenland, preferably. far away and unable to mess anything up.

“he can’t hear me, i’m too quiet for that.” taeyong pauses to study jisung’s pink face, smiling slightly as jisung nervously tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth. he watches as the younger unknowingly smiles as chenle laughs at something on his phone, showing hoseok, who had given his group a break as well and dissolved into giggles at whatever was on the screen. “say, jisung, why don’t we put you in the front after break? you know the dance really well, and there seems to be someone who likes to watch you.”

taeyong doesn’t know how it’s possible, but jisung flushes a deeper shade of magenta. “yeah, i’d like that,” he answers, almost too softly, but the older still manages to hear him, ruffling his hair and calling the group back to order. 

practice seems to go normal, and it isn’t until they are doing full runs of the routine to record for the school’s youtube channel that jisung starts to pay more attention to chenle. 

jisung knows he’s a good dancer. he’s won countless competitions over the years, choreographed his own routines, taught junior classes — he _knows_. 

but when he catches chenle tracing his movements with wide, curious eyes, an expression of pure amazement painted on his features, he _feels_ it. the blush on chenle’s cheeks takes his breath away more so than the dance, and his heart leaps in his chest knowing that he’s the cause, the reason for the pink cotton candy dust spreading delicately like at the hands of a paintbrush. the reason why chenle is breathless, even though he is not the one dancing.

jisung promises himself, as the depth of his crush on the oblivious blond boy crashes into him full force and he finishes the third run of the dance, to discover more about the art that is zhong chenle.

 

★ ☆

 

jisung manages to wait until 9 at night before bounding into the shop, knowing full and well that chenle will be working. he’s not quite sure how he’s kept himself from bursting in there right after dance, but he thinks it has to do with the way hyuck had bribed him to play mariokart with him (something along the lines of “you have to since i had to stay after class with markie and you didn’t”) and he couldn’t refuse, not when he easily won every round.

the little bell above his head jingles incessantly as he slips inside. he looks around for a minute, only to see the shop eerily empty and chenle nowhere to be seen. “weird,” he mutters to himself, before slowly walking up to the counter.

there’s a little note next to the register, and jisung’s heart swoons at how cute the handwriting is. “if a cute blond boy comes in, tell him i’m outside in the courtyard between the studio and music buildings. i have something to show him. - c.”

at that moment, jeno comes running out the back door, exclaiming, “i’m so sorry, what can i get you — oh, you’re a cute blond boy,” he muses, sending jisung an overly exaggerated wink. “and you’re _the_ cute blond boy.”

jisung flushes for the umpteenth time that day. “yeah, um, i guess i’ll be going now?”

jeno nods, pushing him out the door and stuffing a bag of cookies in his grip. “please go, he’s really excited and it’s so cute.”

 

jisung finds chenle laying down in the vast grass area between the two buildings, like he said he would be. he’s gazing up at the stars with an intent in his eyes, one jisung can’t decipher, still dressed in the same clothes from when he visited the studio.

“hey, loser,” chenle calls out, laughing loudly at jisung’s expression of mock horror. “come over here.”

“if anyone’s the loser, it’s you,” jisung retorts, giggling as he plops next to the boy and lays down in the dry grass, a comfortable distance between them.

chenle rolls his eyes, “please, mochi, you can’t even try to call me a loser. you’re too cute.”

jisung huffs, feeling his blush from earlier return. _maybe my cheeks will just permanently be red around him, huh?_ “shut up, lele,” he replies half-heartedly.

“oh my god, are those cookies?!” chenle sits up so fast jisung is scared he’ll faint, but he seems fine as he plucks a white chocolate raspberry cookie from the bag in jisung’s hand. their fingers barely brush as he retreats his hand to his lap, but it’s enough to shock both of them for a few seconds as they munch on the pastries. “wait, this means you went to the store,” chenle adds, pointing an accusing finger at jisung. “you were looking for me.”

“psssh, who would be looking for your sorry ass?” jisung counters, a playful grin on his face. he likes this. he likes being able to talk and tease chenle freely without worrying. he likes that they both have pink cheeks and cookie crumbs lining their lips. he just really likes chenle.

“oh, you’re gonna get it for that!” chenle drops his cookie, descending onto jisung and tickling his torso. they’re both laughing breathlessly as jisung manages to flip them so he’s straddling the older’s thighs, divulging in the dolphin-like giggles that slip out of chenle’s mouth. 

“stop, pl-please, mochi i c-can’t _breathe—”_

only then does jisung release his tickling grip on the younger’s sides, their faces about a foot apart. the air is cold around them, so when they breathe out, they can see it, but the space between them is warm and jisung doesn’t want to let go.

“um, i wanted to show you—”

“oh, yeah, sorry—”

they fly away from each other as if they were electrocuted, but not too far. they have to keep warm somehow.

“so, i really like constellations,” chenle begins, turning his face to the cloudless sky above them. “and i wanted to show you some i like, if that’s okay with you?”

jisung swears he’s about to combust any second. the thought of chenle trusting him enough even after just a couple days to show him something he is truly passionate about plucks at his heart like guitar strings, each strum accelerating his heartbeat. “y-yeah, of course it’s okay with me.”

chenle flashes a big grin, his eyes disappearing, and jisung can’t help but smile back. _cute._

“okay, so up there is orion,” chenle starts, leaning back on the ground. jisung joins him a second later, the dry grass digging into his back, but he could really care less. “it’s called a winter constellation because it’s only visible in the northern hemisphere during the winter season, and you can find it by looking at the three close stars for the hunter’s belt. the star in the bottom left corner there is sirius, it’s small but really bright. betelgeuse is the one above it that looks orange, it’s 643 light years away and expected to explode into a supernova any day now, but we won’t know that it will for another 643 years after it happens.”

“why is that?” jisung wonders, his eyes following to where chenle is pointing.

“one light year is how long it takes for light to travel to us in one year at the speed of three hundred million meters per second,” chenle explains, a smile growing on his face as he sees jisung’s eyes, wide and interested in what he’s describing. “betelgeuse is so far away that it takes light 643 times the normal time, which is a year, for us to see it. light from the sun takes eight minutes to reach earth, for example, so it’s eight minutes old by the time we see it here. all the light we see from stars is actually the light from a long time ago, however many light years away they are, so in a way it’s like time travel. that’s what fascinates me so much about astronomy: when you look up, you can see the past.” 

chenle continues to ramble on about the story of orion, how there’s a solar nebula where stars form next to the belt (“we can see it with binoculars but i forgot mine this time, i’m sorry,” he says with a pout) and that the big dipper is actually called ursa major, but that many people don’t know that, and how to easily find the little dipper (“ursa minor, jisung, _minor_ ”) because the north star, polaris, is at the tail end of it. 

jisung vaguely wonders if chenle realizes how bright he himself is, and that he is slowly becoming jisung’s own star. he only has to wait a few seconds to see the light from him, though, thank goodness.

“and look, there’s you!” chenle says excitedly, gently shaking jisung’s shoulder. “monoceros.” he doesn’t remove his hand from his shoulder. “you notice anything about it?”

jisung stares at the faint configuration of stars chenle’s gesturing at, just above canis major. “wait, that’s — isn’t that a unicorn?!” he giggles a little, chuckling harder as chenle swats his arm.

“yeah, it is. the greeks had no idea what the creature was, and a dutch dude finally realized it looked like a unicorn. monoceros means ‘unicorn’ in latin.”

“but why is it me?”

“because it’s cute.” chenle averts his eyes, and jisung _knows_ there’s more to this story than he’s letting on, but he decides not to press. he’ll tell him when he’s ready.

he instead settles for, “well, you’re cute, too,” which results in chenle pushing jisung away as he rolls a few feet down the small incline.

from where his head is practically face-planted in the dusty ground, jisung sees chenle flick his wrist to peer at his apple watch, gasping as he takes in the time. “oh my god its already 10:30, jeno is going to _kill_ me, i have to go—”

“yeah, you should, jeno seems nice but i don’t want to know what he’s like when he’s mad,” jisung snorts, scrambling after a running chenle.

“it’s scary,” chenle shudders, hollering over his shoulder, not caring if he’s too loud. “like, his eye smile just disappears and turns into the worst glare i’ve _ever_ seen but thankfully that’s only happened once. i don’t wanna relive that.”

jisung nods, slightly panting from their sprint into the studio building. he hesitantly follows chenle to the door.

“so,” chenle says, turning around to face jisung. there’s only a few light on in the lobby, so jisung can’t see much of chenle, but he can tell he’s fighting a smile. “same time tomorrow night?”

jisung wants to point out that dance club is actually in the afternoons, but he doesn’t want him to know about the mirror yet, and if he tells him, chenle will know he saw him. so he keeps his lips shut, secretly (not so secretly) wanting chenle to watch him dance for as long as he can. “yeah. tomorrow.”

chenle hesitates, and jisung isn’t sure why, but then he feels his small hand touch his bicep. “thank you for listening to me and not thinking i’m weird.”

jisung giggles, unable to help it. “of course, lele. you’re not weird, you’re fascinating.”

chenle sputters for a second, opening the door to the shop, and jisung catches a glimpse of his dark red ears. “ditto, mochi. goodnight!”

“goodnight, chenle.”

 

after the ten minute walk home, taeyong and ten spring handfuls of questions on jisung, laughing at his bright blush. “you and chenle are so cute,” ten gushes, affectionately pecking jisung’s cheek as the older two pull him between them on the couch.

“tell us more please,” taeyong whines, ruffling jisung’s blond locks softly. 

“i swear you said we were giving you gray hair from our teenage drama,” hyuck calls from behind them, hopping over the back of the couch to lay across the three laps. “you got mad at us when really all you want is to know the tea.”

“okay fine, you got me,” ten rolls his eyes, scoffing. “we just want to see you happy.”

“geez hyung, when did you turn into a maple tree? this is too much sap for me,” hyuck grumbles, yelling as ten roughly shoves him to the floor.

“why does this always happen,” he mutters, clearly annoyed as he rubs his tailbone.

“take a wild guess, you filthy animal,” taeyong jokes, ten high-fiving him over jisung’s head. “okay sung, _please_ tell us because you are glowing i need to know what happened and if you stayed safe—”

“okay first of all _gross_ , we’re literally in high school and both too soft for that,” jisung smacks taeyong’s arm while ten laughs, clearly amused at their younger flatmate scolding his hyung. “and second, yes i am happy because chenle was happy. i like being the cause of that.”

“our child is growing up,” ten wipes a fake tear from his eye, taeyong sympathetically patting his thigh.

“what about me?” hyuck says from the floor, gazing up at ten with hopeful eyes.

“you’ve still got a ways to go, kid.”

“but i’m literally older!”

“jisungie skipped second grade to be a senior at the same time as you and he’s being more mature.”

“but how—”

“can i just talk about chenle for a minute?” jisung quietly interrupts. everyone coos at him, which just leads to more blushing. _gosh i thought i was done with this—_

“yes, sungie, of course you can. tell us everything you want.”

and jisung does. he tells them everything, including how he’s already crushing on him, how angelic he is, how he’s so passionate about learning and the sky, how he just makes jisung want to cry from how sweet he is. all of it.

“damn, you’re softer than i thought,” ten breaks the silence with a chuckle following jisung’s rant, kissing the top of his head when he notices the youngest has fallen asleep on taeyong’s shoulder. “he really likes this kid, doesn’t he?”

taeyong smiles in confirmation. “i’ve never seen him like this. dance practice was fun today because chenle was there behind the one-way mirror part just watching him, and the poor boy doesn’t realize jisung could see from the other side. it was so cute.”

“should we intervene?” hyuck asks, rolling his fingers through the carpet strands absentmindedly.

“absolutely not,” ten responds immediately. “i want to see how this plays out, if they will be brave enough to tell each other eventually. it’s more meaningful that way, you know?”

the others nod in agreement, tiredness creeping up on them like the midnight hour. they all fall asleep on the indented couch, cuddled into each other, each dreaming of their own stars.

 

★ ☆

 

jisung’s alarm blares throughout the apartment, an annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP that makes him want to yell out in frustration. _who invented mornings, anyway?_

but he refrains, as although he had been instantly jolted awake from the piercing noise, his flatmates were still completely passed out. he chuckles a little at this, prying ten’s arms off from where they were locked around his torso, sliding to the left from under hyuck’s head and replacing his lap with a pillow so that he could still sleep. taeyong had drooled a tiny bit on ten’s shoulder, and jisung couldn’t help but snap a picture of them. _blackmail, you know, in case they try to tell chenle any embarrassing stories._

he manages to leave the flat without waking any of them up, and since he didn’t have to (hyuck didn’t have class until 1:30 and taeyong and ten didn’t have anything to do until three, the lucky bums), he didn’t worry about them. he is running late though, after spending more time getting ready to see chenle tonight. he had applied faint blush and cherry chapstick, opting for a denim jacket over his sweater instead of a hoodie. he still needs to wash chenle’s so that he can give it back.

jisung doesn’t really want to give it back, though.

he stumbles into his creative writing class five minutes past nine. mr. kim gives him an odd look, as jisung isn’t usually one to be late, but the teacher flashes him a comforting bunny smile when he takes in jisung’s slightly tired eyes and minimal makeup. jisung wonders if he shouldn’t have gone through with the blush, but his deskmate, yeojin, smiles widely at him. “you look nice today,” she whispers, abandoning their free write assignment for a second. “are you trying to impress someone?”

jisung hurriedly opens his notebook and clicks his mechanical pencil so the lead is out. “something like that,” he returns in the same soft voice, writing the date in the top corner.

“well, today’s free write topic is about first impressions,” yeojin adds, “so i think you’ll do great, even for coming in late.”

jisung smiles at this. “i think i will, too.”

 

the day passes by so quickly, the only things jisung can recall being yeojin complimenting him as if she knows who he’s trying to impress and how hyuck kept pulling at his arm all throughout songwriting to get help on their songs. his muscles still ached slightly from it. he might not look it, but hyuck has an intense grip.

oh, and mark thinking he’s subtle. 

jisung had caught him multiple times sneaking glances at hyuck whenever the latter was complaining or laughing or biting his lip in thought. the one instance jisung accidentally caught mark’s eye had sent the older into a blushing mess, almost worse than jisung, which was a feat in itself: nobody blushes more often than park jisung.

he slips through the studio doors at precisely three o’clock, allowing himself to be enveloped in taeyong’s hug as he says, “thank you for telling us about chenle. i know we’ve grown up together and have been friends due to our parents and hyuck being my brother, but we all really appreciate it. we like feeling that you trust us and that you care enough about us to let us in on those parts of your life.”

jisung shifts out of taeyong’s grasp, lightly pushing his shoulder. “of course i am telling you! you guys are my best friends, and no matter how annoying hyuck gets, i wouldn’t trade him for anything.” he pauses for a second before adding in a rush, “i know i’m not the best at feelings and i just wanted to make sure it was real and okay after only a few days—”

“jisung, slow down, alright?” taeyong brushes the younger’s bangs back, revealing his forehead. “feelings are one hundred percent valid. all of them, any of them. you are _always_ allowed to feel the way you feel. never let someone tell you emotions are not okay, or not ‘manly.’” taeyong puts air quotes around the last word. “and no matter what, we will always be here to listen. it sounds like chenle will, too.”

jisung barely nods, not trusting his voice to come out unwavering. he really didn’t expect taeyong to say such a thing — he’s soft, yes, but usually ten is the one to be more outspoken about it. although it is unexpected, it is definitely not unwelcome.

“okay, now that we’ve covered that,” taeyong moves to collect his laptop from his tan briefcase, “i was wondering if you wanted to help me choreograph this class?”

jisung recovers from his shock as soon as taeyong mentions assisting. “yes yes _yes_!” he exclaims. they still have about a half hour before any of the other club members arrive, so they have plenty of time, and he never turns down a chance to dance.

“we’re dancing to lost in japan today,” taeyong says as he pulls up the choreography video he filmed earlier. “i was really feeling the vibe, and i know it’s one of your favorites.”

jisung grins as the video loads. taeyong knows him so well. “it is.”

 

★ ☆

 

“okay guys, take a five minute break!” taeyong calls, knocking on the mirror so that the other group, led by hoseok again, hears him. “we’ll review the bridge before going into the chorus when we come back.”

jisung saunters over to his backpack to get his water bottle when he notices two cups neatly placed next to it. one is a water bottle, and the other is a to-go cup. jisung leans closer, and cinnamon fills his nose. there’s a note on the side of it, written in that same bubbly handwriting he had come to love. “drink the water first, cider after. we don’t want you dehydrated later, now do we? - c.”

he can’t help it; an unconscious grin flits across his face as he thinks of chenle bringing in the drinks, thinking he’s sneaky, writing on the side of the cup and making sure they are neat before leaving. jisung can’t believe chenle still doesn’t know about the mirror as he chances a glance over in the general direction to catch chenle watching him. it warms his cheeks into yet another fervent blush. he imagines chenle giggling to himself at this, but the thought only makes him grow warmer.

he helps to lead the class in more confidence after break, feeling chenle’s butterscotch eyes on him as he completes the dance multiple times. he decides the rush he feels from being watched by chenle is much more desirable than dancing alone, and wonders how long he was going to go through life without experiencing this feeling.

the cider is slightly cool after practice, and chenle is nowhere to be seen, but jisung knows he’ll see him later, so he lets the simmered sugar keep him going until he can bask in the sweetness of chenle’s smile again.

 

when they meet at exactly nine that night, just as promised, chenle boldly takes jisung’s hand, leading him to their spot on the slight hill. jisung tries so hard to hide the fact that his body is _thrumming_ with energy, buzzing from where their fingers are linked together, but it’s to no avail as chenle giggles at the blush on the younger’s features. jisung is just happy that the other has pink cheeks to match.

chenle tells him about star life tonight, how bigger stars live shorter than smaller stars, and how most of them follow the main sequence path to eventually explode in bright colors of gas and dust and metals. how those clouds of color are then recycled and made into new stars, and that’s why earth has so many elements on it — they all come from stars and their explosions. how the planets from jupiter and outward are so cold they won’t deteriorate for a long time, and will be here longer than earth when the sun expands to a supergiant.

“but you’re a star,” jisung says, not realizing he’s speaking aloud. “i don’t want you to explode.”

chenle looks shocked, his lips parted and irises splayed wide, and that causes jisung to freak out. “w-wait, sorry, i didn’t mean—”

chenle stops him from rambling insecurely by interlocking their hands again, palms cold but still searching for their match, finding solace in the spaces between their fingers. “it’s okay, mochi. you’re my star, too. and i think we’re smaller stars anyways.”

their gazes meet, and jisung deciphers the hidden message hiding behind his shy smile. 

_we’ll grow together, like the stars._

 

★ ☆

 

jisung finds himself looking forward to dance practice every day, for when a water bottle and cup of cider greet him during the break like an unspoken ritual. there’s something different every time: sometimes chenle writes random space facts on his cups, or draws a constellation, or tells him to smile. no matter what he writes, he always ends the note with “you’re cute, little mochi” and it just _squeezes_ jisung’s fragile heart with so much _like_.

he can’t say love yet, but to hell with it if that isn’t what jisung feels.

when they meet up at night, chenle finally remembering his binoculars to show jisung the orion nebula, they talk about everything. chenle describes stars and dark matter and black holes and jisung listens, enraptured, as the magic in the sky reflects in the other’s pretty face. he wonders if chenle feels the same when he rambles on about dance and music and his songs (“i’ll play one for you someday, i promise, lele!”), because the way he stares at him makes him feel as though it were true.

jeno always winks whenever jisung brings chenle back to the shop after a couple hours so chenle can finish his shift, and if jisung visits in the morning, he gives him an extra bagel. his friend jaemin is there one day the following week, and he sends jisung into a blushing mess when he says, “ah, so you’re the one our baby chenle compares to stars.” jeno and jaemin laugh when they witness jisung’s efforts to hide his red ears, knowing they really just can’t be helped. he’s so far gone and it’s only been two weeks.

jisung knows he wants to confess, even after such a short amount of time. he wants chenle to hear him say _i like you, lele,_ even if he already knows. 

even if they both already know.

★ ☆

except jisung chickens out. he knows what hyuck would say. “stop being a damn pussy! you know he likes you, too!”

and jisung knows this. he _knows_ chenle likes him, at least to some extent. why else would he leave cider and water during practice and watch him dance every day and teach him about the sky?

there wasn’t really a ‘friendship’ explanation to this, not when chenle insists they hold hands more often than not, or hug for longer than deemed appropriate between friends. not when they’ve caught each other staring, maybe at each other’s lips, more than once.

yeah. jisung has to do it. 

it’s been a little over a month now since chenle gave him his hoodie in the little shop. four weeks, three days, twelve hours and 6 minutes. not that jisung is counting. of course he isn’t.

 

he consults mark, asking him if he can use the song he wrote for their night topic, and the older is more than happy. “i was so impressed with it that i mixed beats for it,” he admits, “and although it’s kind of simple, it really fits in with the way you worded things. i hope i got it right.” he plays the song from a folder titled “magic” on his desktop, and a smooth guitar and piano duet greet his ears like two people bowing to each other at the start of a dance. jisung listens as hyuck’s voice, dripping in honey, accentuates the lyrics, and he feels like crying.

“that’s why i wanted him to stay after that one day in class,” mark says quietly, “i’ve heard him sing before.”

jisung looks up at him, inhaling deeply to collect himself before asking, “do you like him?”

mark noticeably gulps, and his lips curl into the ghost of a smile. “yeah. but i’m not going to do anything until this year is over. i don’t want to get in trouble, even though technically i can’t because the program at sm u isn’t official yet.”

“you know hyuck thinks you hate him, right?”

the older clicks out of the song once it’s finished, piano fading away into the still background behind them in the empty classroom. “maybe it’s better that way? at least for now.”

jisung shakes his head. “when you meet someone who shakes your entire world upside down, you need to act on it.” his voice grows tranquil, “and when you meet someone who embodies the entire universe in the depth of their smile, you best believe you make them yours.”

 

 

jisung does the same with taeyong and ten, asking to help him create a choreography that best suits the song. “because dance is kind of our thing now? he thinks i can’t see him, but i can, and i want to tell him through a routine?” his heart is racing as he makes the request.

taeyong and ten share a grin, and they immediately start suggesting dance moves, transitions, where to accent certain beats as opposed to certain words. they don’t need to help much, though, as it becomes clear jisung already has most of the dance figured out. “it’s more meaningful that way, you know,” ten tells jisung, winking at taeyong, who stands behind jisung with a satisfied smile on his face. 

it really is.

 

★ ☆

 

the following night, when chenle takes jisung’s hand to lead them to their designated spot, jisung instead roots himself in place in the hallway outside the shop door. “chenle, um, i was wondering if i could show you something this time?” jisung asks nervously, fingers fidgeting with the other’s between their chests.

chenle appears confused, but not disappointed, which relieves the younger. “yeah, of course. what do you have in mind?” he prompts jisung with a soft question, the words wrapped in velvet and wrapping around the younger’s heart in a bow.

jisung doesn’t answer; he instead leads chenle toward his practice room, unlocking it with his key and gently pulling him inside, locking it behind them. he watches as chenle’s face flickers into recognition, which makes sense given he’s been here basically every day for the past month. but he doesn’t know jisung knows.

breathing in deeply, jisung almost second-guesses himself. _you can do this, mochi, you can_. he imagines chenle giving him a pep talk, which is kind of ironic given what he’s trying to say, but it calms him down like nothing else.

“stand here,” jisung says, guiding chenle to the other side of the mirror where the older usually is during practice, except he brings him right up to the mirror, in the middle. 

“why, mochi?”

chenle sounds so trusting that jisung wants to cry. _yeah, i’m doing this._ “you’ll see, lele. i promise.”

and then it is with shaking hands that jisung carefully goes back to the other side and steps over to the stereo placed on his futon to press play, having only eight counts to get into position before the guitar and piano starts. chenle doesn’t know jisung can see him through the one side, but he’s about to.

jisung starts in a sitting position on the floor, allowing the music to carry him up, up, _up,_ until he’s standing and making eye contact with chenle, who watches with wide eyes, messy hair, and magenta ears as jisung finally locks eyes with him. the lyrics whisper out of the speakers delicately, as if jisung’s dancing is swooning them, and in a way, he is.

 

_nighttime isn’t for me_

_i’ve known this since i was born_

_so then why do i get chills_

_when i see the stars twinkle in your eyes?_

_brighter than any galaxy_

_is the light in your smile_

_i could trace constellations_

_on your cheeks and heart for miles_

 

_and perhaps it’s because i was_

_always so sleepy_

_when the clock struck nine_

_but now that is when we meet_

_and i’ve never felt more alive_

 

jisung spins a few times in place, just the way he knows renders chenle breathless, never once breaking their gaze unless he has to for a move. chenle has a combination of shock, happiness, and relief fighting for dominance on his features, and jisung, once again, loves that he’s the cause of it.

 

_you might not like your glasses_

_because you say they hide your eyes_

_but baby, they just enhance their stories_

_lingering even as time flies_

 

_the chapters are longer than space and time_

_and nothing can compare_

_to the way i feel when you look at me_

_with the whole universe in your stare_

 

jisung takes advantage of the slight pause in the words to dance up to the side of the mirror chenle is standing on. from where he is, he can’t see him unless he goes a little to the left, across the wood bar, so he does. he wants to see chenle, and when he is able to take in his whole form, he places his hand on his side of the mirror, a shaky smile emerging on his face.

 

_i got used to home being with cinnamon_

_and stargazes and secret hand touches_

_that if you were to ask me_

_to travel to the ends of the galaxies_

_i would return your star-crossed gaze_

_and say i already have_

 

chenle puts his hand up to where jisung’s is, reaching just slightly from where he stands so they can continue to stare at each other from their different sides of the mirror. chenle’s eyes are teary, littered with stars just how jisung remembers.

 

_for now nighttime is precious_

_because it is when i am with you_

_no longer do i feel sleepy when the sun_

_kisses the horizon_

_you are the angel_

_who keeps me awake_

_and i willingly oblige_

_just so i can bask in the warmth of you_

_before i finally close my eyes_

 

the song fades out with beautiful major chords resonating throughout the echoing room, but the two boys still remain pressed to the glass separating them. chenle recovers first, dashing through the open door connecting the studios and jumps into jisung’s outstretched arms, sniffling and laughing and smiling all at the same time as he links his hands around the other boy’s neck.

jisung’s hands quickly fly to the older’s thighs to hold him in place in a gentle grip that he hopes conveys just how precious he is, much like the nighttime hours ahead of them. he can’t find his voice yet, and neither can chenle, it seems, who buries his face into the younger’s shoulder with a muffled cry, so he walks the two of them to his futon and sits down, moving the stereo and pulling the smaller boy close.

chenle is the first to break the silence as they lay together on top of the blankets, the heat from each other and jisung’s confession providing more than enough. “jisung-ah,” he begins, grinning in amusement when jisung sits up quickly.

“hold on, you — you knew my name? this _whole_ time?!”

chenle’s giggling, and jisung loves it. “well, not the whole time. i found out the first time i watched you dance to lemon because someone, i think his name was taeyong? he called you over and said jisung.” he ceases his laughs when jisung continues to stare at him, open-mouthed.

“then…then why’d you keep calling me mochi?” comes jisung’s timid question.

chenle leans over and pecks jisung’s temple, both of them freezing at the contact, chenle pulling away after only a few seconds. “because it made you blush.”

jisung, indeed, feels himself redden at chenle’s words, doing nothing to hide his smile. he doesn’t want to. “ah well, i can’t argue with that. i kind of can’t stop whenever you say something like that.”

“you deserve it for not telling me you could see me the whole time,” chenle teases, laughing in his signature over-the-top way, loud and endearing as jisung fake pouts. he pulls him back down again so they are facing each other, hands interlocked in the small space that lingers between them. “sungie, there’s something i should tell you before i say what i’ve been meaning to for awhile.”

jisung promptly ignores the way his heart backflips in his chest when chenle calls him by his nickname. “you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready, lele. i’m never going to push you into doing or saying something you don’t want, okay?”

chenle’s eyes grow teary again, and he averts his gaze to their twiddling hands. “i — i know, mochi. god, do i know. that’s why i want to tell you.” he keeps his vision trained on how jisung comfortingly traces hearts on the back of his palm, the feeling almost ticklish but more soothing than anything. 

“i was born into a fairly well-off family in china before we moved here when i was four. i never had to worry about food, or clothes, or anything like that. my first friend, jeno, wasn’t always so lucky. we met in third grade, and sometimes he wouldn’t have anything to eat for lunch, so i started bringing extra snacks for him so he wouldn’t get hungry. that’s why he likes chocolate chip scones so much — i always gave him mine when my mom made them.

“about halfway through the year, my dad noticds that i’m taking extra food and asked me why i’m doing it, and so i honestly told him. i didn’t want any person to go hungry, especially not one of my friends, and my little third-grade self was so happy that i made my best friend smile.” chenle sniffles quietly, and jisung takes one of his hands and rubs the other’s back comfortingly, the older thanking him with a wavery grin. “but — but he got so _mad_ at me, and i couldn’t understand why, so i asked him, and you know what he said?” chenle’s tears start falling gracefully down his cheeks, like even his sadness was delicate. “‘boys are to never do those things with other boys. _never_ , do you hear me?! you pull this again, and — and i’ll send you away!’ 

“i was so _so_ scared, you know? i mean, it was just food, but he was so angry. my dad was telling me not to be with my best friend anymore, not to help him smile, and to let him go hungry. i couldn’t do that, so i didn’t listen to him, and of course he found out. true to his word, he sent me back to china, to a boarding school, where i spent the rest of my elementary and middle years. i grew up there, so i knew some of the kids, but it wasn’t the same. i was _so_ alone, sungie. every single day.”

jisung’s heart breaks at the forlorn expression twisted on chenle’s face, the look morphing into a mask as he tells his story, blocking out the usual light that glitters through. it is not anything like what jisung was expecting to hear, especially not from someone as sweet as chenle, and he can’t even begin to imagine.

“my parents never visited me for all that time, and then made me come back here for high school. when i was in china, i had realized that i — i was gay, and i knew i couldn’t tell them. jeno found out, though, he’s too intelligent for his own good. he would always let me vent about things to him and his friend jaemin. we quickly became the three musketeers, and i was happy for awhile.

“then at the start of sophomore year, my mom came over to have lunch with jeno’s mom when i was there, and she overheard the three of us talking about me. it didn’t take much for her to put the pieces together. jisung, she yelled at me for so long i started to think she couldn’t remember what her normal voice sounded like. she was so upset, and i just remember turning to jeno’s mom and asking, ‘is there something wrong with me?’ and she gave me the biggest hug i’ve ever gotten in my life, bigger than anything my parents ever gave me, and told me ‘of course there’s not, your mother is being irrational. she’ll come around, i’m sure.’

“but my mom dragged me home, out of mrs. lee’s arms, away from jeno and jaemin, and into my house just down the street, where my dad told me i had a half hour to get all my stuff together and leave. they didn’t — they didn’t want to see me ever again.” chenle tries to muffle his sobs, but with jisung tearing up in front of him, they bubble out of his throat without mercy. “how can — how can the people who swear to protect you, to _take care of you_ , disappoint you like that? how can they convince you that your entire _self_ is flawed? and call it a phase?” he finally meets jisung’s eyes again, and more tears cascade down his cheeks, blurring the lenses on his glasses. “why do the people you love hurt you the most, sungie? why do they take pride in heartbreak like its their best friend? and why was it just my parents who seemed to feel this way? _why_ , sungie?”

jisung stares dumbfounded at chenle, unsure of what to say. “those are really big questions that i wish i had really big answers to. lele, you don’t — you don’t deserve that, you’ve _never_ deserved that. nobody does, especially not you, you hear me? you are not the product of your parents, you are the makings of yourself.”

jisung’s words seem to calm the older down a little, and he nods to himself encouragingly as if to help him continue the story. “it took me a l-long time to figure that out, jisung. i called jeno and he, jaemin, and both of their parents came and helped me pack up. that’s the only time i’ve seen jeno scary mad — jaemin, too. i lived with them for a-awhile, until jeno and jaemin’s senior year. they moved out on sm u’s university living prep program, and took me in. they’ve helped me understand that i am me, and nothing can change that.

“i haven’t seen my parents in three years, and while i do miss them a little, i’ve met much better family along the way, people who have actually shown me what ‘family’ is.” chenle holds jisung’s hands tighter, wiping away the younger’s tears with one of his thumbs before pushing through. “and that includes you, mochi. you and jeno and jaemin have shown me that i’m still a person, a young person, and that i can like whoever i want because they make me feel more alive and _happy_ than i’ve ever had the chance to.”

there’s a little pause, during which chenle wiggles the blankets out from under them and drapes the fabric over their small frames. “is this even right?” he timidly asks, chancing a look at jisung.

“what do you mean?” jisung asks back, head tilted to match chenle’s, whose glasses are slightly askew from laying sideways.

“i mean is this — is this okay?”

“why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“i just — i’ve never felt like this before, and i’m really scared—”

“i know, i am, too. le, your hands are shaking. everything is okay, i promise, i’m not going anywhere, alright?”

chenle scoots closer to jisung, their chests millimeters from touching. “you promise?”

“yes, lele,” jisung murmurs as he snuggles even closer. “i promise with all of my soul.”

chenle tucks his head beneath jisung’s chin, breathing out softly into the material of his hoodie. “i’ve never felt this way with any of the people i thought i’ve liked before. i think that’s what scares me the most.” chenle stops for a second to meet jisung’s eyes and keep the stare steady, and the younger feels his heart crack even more at the vulnerability and tears swimming in the other’s irises. “because it’s so _strong_ , and i know we’ve only known each other for maybe a couple months but — but i really think i like you, jisung.”

jisung smiles at this. “ah, you think you like me?”

“shut up,” the younger whines through his sniffles, playfully punching jisung’s chest. 

“don’t worry, le, i think i like you too. a lot.”

time elapses for a little bit in front of them, until chenle says, “do you know why i chose monoceros for you?”

“because i’m cute,” jisung responds, playing with the other’s fingers.

“of course you are,” chenle chuckles, “but also because when i first met you, it was like magic. i don’t know if you felt it, but it was like i was being entranced. and, uh, unicorns are magical, so…”

the apples of chenle’s cheeks glow a beautiful shade of pink, glistening with the sudden tears spilling onto his skin. jisung lifts a careful hand to delicately clear away the tears, feeling his own drip onto his nose due to their position. “goddammit, le, will you ever make me stop blushing?!” jisung tries to act mad, but he really can’t, not when chenle is laughing and showing off his angelic little smile. “you’re so pretty,” he whispers, watching chenle continue to giggle and shake his head. “i’m serious! you’re like art, you know, a whole goddamn painting. and i love that i’m the cause of the color on the canvas of your cheeks, the cause of your smile, brighter than any stars you show me. i just really like you, chenle, and i — ” the words get caught in his throat again; not because they’re too heavy, but because saying them will make him feel lighter, _happier_ , than he’s ever felt. “will you be my star i can see without looking up at the night sky? my dance partner in crime? the night to my day? the reason i stay awake?”

chenle blubbers out an “of course you dummy” and cries into jisung’s sweatshirt, which is actually chenle’s sweatshirt, the one he gave him when they first met. the realization makes him smile through his tears as jisung cuddles him even closer, the space between them practically non-existent and sizzling with warmth.

“lele, can i kiss you?”

“jisung, i’m a crying mess!”

“but you’re still you, le. you’re my beautiful mess.”

jisung wipes chenle’s tears with one hand as he places his other index finger under his chin, gently tilting chenle’s face up to meet his. they’re so close, so _so_ close to each other. jisung can feel the warmth of chenle’s shaky exhales on his nose, and he’s pretty his own breath is coming out nervous. he’s kissed someone before, sure, but it was for a dare and not because he actually wanted to.

jisung can’t think of anything he wants more in this moment than to convey just how much chenle means to him, though. he wants to.

“you can tell me to stop any time you want, okay?” jisung murmurs in a quiet voice matching their soft proximity. “i just want you to feel comfortable.”

chenle’s eyes brim with unshed tears again, and he releases a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “just kiss me, sungie.”

jisung smiles, feeling it waver slightly. _wow i get to kiss zhong chenle and he wants to kiss_ me _back —_

he leans forward, just a little, to cover the few centimeters between them, allowing his eyes to flutter shut right after chenle closes his own. their lips press together as if waiting forever to find their match, and now that they have, to part means to deny forever exists.

but when chenle reaches a hand up to cup jisung’s cheek in his palm, a supernova explodes in his stomach, chasing up his insides and setting his whole body on fire. he’s kissing the stars, _his_ universe, and if that doesn’t mean he’s found his forever, he doesn’t know what will.

they pull away from each other for maybe half a second before jisung winds his hands in chenle’s soft blond locks, his fingers tugging on the strands ever-so gently to coax chenle back toward him, which he does so eagerly. their mouths meet again in another closed-lipped kiss, longer than a peck but still testing the waters, until chenle daringly parts his lips against jisung and it gets hotter with the addition of his bated breath on jisung’s chin.

chenle moves his own hands down to jisung’s waist, pulling them both up into a sitting position as he kisses ardently at the other’s lips until one of jisung’s legs is carelessly thrown over chenle’s lap. the older giggles at this, but jisung can’t wrap his head around how chenle continues to kiss jisung’s lower lip over and over in a constant, careful cycle, one hand on his waist, the other near the back of his knee over chenle’s lap. his mind is buzzing, overflowing with all of his senses heightened at once, thoughts full of chenle, chenle, _chenle._ shivers rack relentlessly down his spine with every touch, every unpredictable move chenle makes. 

chenle pays attention to jisung’s upper lip, too, not forgetting to caress the suppleness of it with his own lips before capturing both in a long, sweet kiss, driving jisung crazy. “cinnamon,” chenle breathes, smiling as he leans back to fully take in the gasping, probably blushing mess that is park jisung. “you taste like cinnamon.”

jisung is panting slightly, overwhelmed from the twinges in his stomach that he knows is from chenle’s lingering touch. he’s not sure how the last five minutes have managed to make him feel the warmest he’s ever felt in his entire life, but one look from a blushing chenle, and he’s never been more sure of anything. “and you taste like chocolate,” jisung simpers, his voice delicate, and chenle must notice because he pulls him into a close hug, his head nestled safely under chenle’s chin on his chest. chenle’s heart beats faster when jisung nuzzles into the spot, draping the blanket over them as they lay down again. “sweet, just like you.”

jisung feels chenle’s breath hitch, hears it catch in his throat from his position. chenle stifles a laugh in jisung’s hair, kissing the top of his head, and jisung swears he’s melting. “jisung-ah, you’re making me blush,” chenle’s voice comes out muffled.

“wait,” jisung sits up slightly to make steady eye contact with chenle, who blinks in surprise. “you’re blushing more than me!”

chenle huffs, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout, but jisung knows he’s right this time, as the older’s cheeks and ears seem to have been dipped in pink paint, splashing their color to life on chenle’s fair skin. “not fair,” he says, pouting even more.

jisung kisses the pout away, leaving behind a shocked chenle, and jisung laughs at the expression on his features. there’s a little tear at the corner of his eye, threatening to fall further down his face, and jisung immediately wipes it away. "hey hey, don’t cry! everything is okay now, i’m here, and you have jeno, jaemin, and now ten and taeyong. you’ll be alright, lele.”

“ah, i’m sorry,” chenle sniffles a little, but no new tears fall.

“don’t be sorry. think of them not as tears, but as dewdrops,” jisung offers, gently pecking his nose and the spaces directly under his eyes.

“what do you mean?”

“well,” jisung begins, interlacing their fingers as they lay facing each other again, legs tangled together, “dewdrops form either from rain or when the air is so cold the water vapor condenses onto plants. rain and the cold may seem like harsh things, but without them, a lot of animals and insects wouldn’t have accessible water. life sometimes requires a little bit of rain, a little bit of dewdrops, to make way for the next step. and personally, i love that i’m the one who gets a little bit of life, of happiness, from kissing away your dewdrops for our own next steps.”

chenle’s lips part in astonishment as he registers the younger’s words. _he gets happy because of me?_ “jisung, i — how?”

“i’m in songwriting,” jisung explains, his words borderline whispering. “i used to have a hard time with it until i met you. you have helped the words flow freely from here—” jisung guides chenle’s hand to his chest, where his heart is rapidly beating, “— to here.” he brings their intertwined fingers back to the space between them.  
chenle grins so wide his eyes disappear, and jisung mirrors it, his happiness contagious. “gosh, i really like you, sungie.”

“i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of hearing that, lele.”

“i won’t ever get tired of saying it.”

the two boys continue to talk about jisung’s songs, and how chenle can’t believe he wrote one for him, sneaking in a few (okay, a lot) of kisses and little giggles. they fall asleep together on jisung’s lumpy futon, both not really tired but comfortable with each other, their heartstrings reaching out and tangling together just as much as their hands and words.

 

★ ☆

 

jisung is the first to awaken the following morning, not to sunlight coming into the room due to a lack of windows, but rather to an incredibly warm feeling brewing in his chest. he cracks one eye open and his line of sight is met with a crop of bright messy hair, its curls poking jisung’s nose with every inhale. _chenle._

he remembers the rush from last night, their confessions, their hands, their kisses. _oh my god, that really happened._

as if on cue, chenle stirs in his sleep, his head lightly bonking into jisung’s chin. they both grunt, laughing as they situate themselves into a more comfortable position, sleepy eyes locked, facing each other just like the previous night. “you look even prettier when you wake up,” jisung mutters, pecking chenle’s forehead in disbelief. “and here i thought you couldn’t get any more beautiful.”

“stop it,” chenle whines half-heartedly, and jisung takes note of his reddening ears.

“oh how the tables have turned,” he teases, laughing harder when chenle playfully punches his shoulder.

“i thought i was dreaming,” chenle says, pausing to catch his breath. “and then when i saw you right here, i just — thank you, jisung.”

jisung raises an eyebrow. “you don’t have to thank me for anything, le. you were yourself. that’s who you have to thank.”

chenle says nothing but instead closes the small gap to properly kiss jisung, the faint taste of cinnamon invading his senses welcomingly. he can’t help but giggle when jisung gasps at the flick of his tongue on his lower lip, pulling away to brush his bangs out of his irises. “sorry, i just wanted to catch you off-guard again.”

jisung fakes annoyance, but really his heart is jumping as chenle pecks his nose, and he scrunches it at him to get him to stop, but it doesn’t work, of course. jisung didn’t really want chenle to stop kissing him, anyway.

hyuck has probably blown his phone up with messages asking how it went, and taeyong most likely has left about fifteen voicemails with a dramatic ten yelling in the background about young love, but jisung has nothing on his mind but chenle.

chenle, who gives his hoodie to a special stranger even though they just met because he doesn’t want him to feel cold.

chenle, whose wire-rimmed glasses perch on his nose the way a librarian’s would as he recites constellations excitedly.

chenle, who always leaves jisung a hot cider in his practice room, because he knows it’s jisung’s favorite.

chenle, who teases jisung relentlessly even though he gets shy just as easily.

chenle, who loves watching jisung dance and how he didn’t realize the other could see him behind the glass.

chenle, who is glowing sunshine in human form, and how he compliments the moonlit aura of jisung like night and day.

chenle, who brings constant light to jisung’s life, who shakes jisung awake like nothing else, who proves to him that the best things happen when he isn’t sleepy.

yeah. there’s nothing jisung would rather be awake for, than this.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you guys so so much for reading if you got this far! i love chensung wow they really are that ship
> 
> please leave kudos or a comment to let me know what you think! if there's any confusion i'll be more than happy to clear it up :)
> 
> if you want to talk to me about chensung, nct, or anything really, my twitter is taesxbandanas !! :)  
> maybe i'll do a markhyuck spin off of this to show their story after? what do you think?
> 
> thank you guys again for reading, i really appreciate it :)) have a good day/night!


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